I don't really know why I am writing this or telling you any of this, but I just felt I needed to write down how I am feeling. To be honest I don't know how I feel, in one sense, I keep pushing the operation to the back of my mind and trying not to think about it; however Friday is starting to come round very quickly and I do need to start thinking about it now. Every time I think about it I get really scared, I am worried about how I am going to cope with looking after the girls and how long the recovery might be. The answer to that is that I will not know until my knee is opened up and we discover what the problem is, not to mention the fact that everyone recovers at different rates.
The plan is for me to have an open lateral release and arthoscopy and then anything else that needs to be done. I have had surgery done on my knee previosly and I remember the recovery taking quite a while; hubbie has been able to get a week off work, I really hope this is enough so that I can get back to being OK to look after the girls.
I am very fortunate that I have a very lovely consultant who I have known for over 10 years and I trust him a great deal. At my pre-op a few weeks ago I discussed that I was very reluctant to have a general anaesthetic, I really do not like the idea of being knocked out and not knowing what is going on; there is also a part of me that wants to see what is being done to me. My consultant could have easily said no but he is happy for me to have a spinal! Now I am starting to wonder if I am mad to be having a spinal and watching the operation. Hubbie is also quite worried about my knee and the recovery that is involved, he is concerned I will panic during the operation and have to be knocked out, I really hope this does not happen. My consultant is really going out of his way to make sure everything is in place for me to be as comfortable as possible, he has put me on the end of the operating list so that I can arrive at the hospital for 10am rather than the standard 7am! He has also said because I am last on the list then I can wear my own pj's as I pose no MRSA risk to anyone else.
My operation is due to take place on Friday, so please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. With having a spinal op, I am hoping I will be allowed to take the iPad in with me, so I may end up keeping you all up to date during the op! How strange would that be? I will try not to post too many gorey pics!
My recovery is going to take time until I am back on my feet so I may not be updating the blog everyday, but I will try my best.