When I was little I never thought about how many children I would like; something changed after my wedding and I decided I wanted to have a baby; 3 months into married life I fell pregnant with Ruby. I had a horrendous pregnancy, suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum (I will blog about this another time). After having Ruby I still didn't feel our family was complete, however I was anxious about becoming pregnant again because of the high chances of suffering with Hyperemesis again; so we waited until Ruby was more independent My pregnancy with Lottie was far worse than with Ruby; I was so ill that i was admitted to hospital to be given fluids intravenously; however it has been worth it! Lottie has slotted into our family so well, and there is a part of me that would like another baby, but I want to focus on achieving a career first and then re-look at the situation at a later date.
I've started to reflect in the quiet evenings about what life was like before the girls and what I actually miss or wish I had done differently.
- I wish I had undertaken a degree in midwifery
- I wish we had a bigger house so the girls didn't have to share a bedroom
- I wish we had saved more money as I would love to be able to buy them more but can't because we are on one salary
- I wish we could have traveled the world and enjoyed a big holiday
- I wish I had bought a 5 door car
With all this in mind do I regret have the girls? No Way!, they have enriched and blessed my life so much. I never knew the meaning of unconditional love until I had the girls. They mean the world to me and I would never change them.
All my wishes are things that could change over time, when Lottie's older I will apply to university. The girls don't need a bedroom each, they will know no different; Ruby's already excited about sharing a bedroom with her sister. Even if we had saved more money I am sure there would have been something else I would have wanted to buy the girls and we wouldn't have been able to afford it. Holidays, we can always do these later or when the girls are older and although our idea of a holiday has changed to a couple of days in a caravan in this country, we have still had a lovely time being together as a family.
Who knows what the future will hold and if we will have any more babies, but I am loving every second and treasuring my time with my two little princesses, they enrich my life immensely.