Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Mummy Guilt - Birthday's!

Almost exactly 3 years ago, we were in full preparation for the birthday party of all birthday parties, Ruby was turning one!

1st Birthday Cake

We produced lots of hand made invites and set-up a small Marquee in my Mum's garden for a Tea party; we had cakes, tea in cups and saucers, scones, puddings and sandwiches; we even decorated the marquee in bunting. The sun was shinning and Ruby received so many wonderful pressies; we had the most amazing day!



Fast forward 3 years and I am feeling like a terrible mummy, I have not organised anything for Lottie;  its her first birthday in less than a month.  To be honest we don't have the money we did back then to be able to throw such a big party, nor do I have the time to sit and make pretty invites and cakes etc; however I still feel really really bad and guilty over it all.

I've spoken to lots of mums and they have all reassured me that it is totally normal to have massive parties for first borns but nothing for subsequent children, or if they do throw a party its a lot smaller.

I also have such a dilemma when it comes to buying Lottie presents; she has an older sister born in the same month, 3 years apart, which means she has everything she could possibly need and want, but still I feel guilty I want to get her something. I am thinking of buying her charms for a charm bracelet, which is something I can do at special events or birthdays but it still does not feel good enough.

Ruby's birthday pressie is already sorted this year, we bought her a little times 8 in 1 climbing frame from eBay and she absolutely loves it. With regards to a party, money has been the deciding factor; we can't really afford to hire a place and don't want to exclude children due to numbers, so we shall not be having a party this year.

Ruby's Birthday Pressie

We are therefore looking into having a day out as a treat (not really sure where yet) and having the rest of the family over for cake and tea in the late afternoon.

I would be really interested if anyone else has this second child dilemma and how are you planning or  had planned to celebrate your child's birthday's? I would also welcome birthday pressie ideas and where is good for a birthday treat day out.

9 comments:

  1. you know what. don't sweat it. they're still tiny. these memories are more for you and the rest of the family than for them.

    a fund day out will be something they will appreciate more. maybe make a lovely picnic (cake, sandwiches and a few other fun bits and pieces) and find a nice spot, and take a few good outdoor toys along.
    if the weather isn't up for it, maybe have some stuff in for decorating plain fairycakes or something, and make a fort indoors to eat them in. or if someone has a large enough tent for it to be comfortable, stick it in the garden and have a picnic in the tent.

    I might not know much about children, other than what it is like to be one. we didn't have a lot growing up, but I had a great childhood.
    everything's going to be brilliant. don't sweat the small stuff. :-*

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  2. My daughter's birthday is in July (she's nearly 4) so we tend to have a picnic lunch at a park and invite all her friends (they provide their own picnics, run around and there's no clearing up afterwards!). Is that something you could do?

    As for my second child, he had the incredibly bad manners to be born on Christmas Day so that's complicated enough! I don't think you need to worry about flashy parties, presents and cakes at this age, it's more for us than them. Try not to feel bad.

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  3. We were the same with our second, poor chap ha ha. But he certainly doesn't remember his 1st birthday and to be honets is just happy to get a party these days. He's 5 next birthday and we're going to do a play center party with some of his friends.

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  4. Nice marquee set-up! I guess the kids enjoyed the party! :)

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