3 Weeks Post Op

I am now three weeks post op, following my knee surgery, and to be honest I'm finding it all really difficult to get my head around. I think part of the problem is that I was not fully prepared for the operation; yes I had done some research and asked questions to my consultant etc, and he and I both thought that the procedure would be a quick and easy one to recover from... but unfortunately when he opened up my knee, it became clear that this was not going to be as easy as we had initially thought. He performed the procedure he thought was best based on his own expert opinion (following my consent), and my two week recovery time went up to six months. This came as a shock to me as I am such an active person and to be so limited as to what I can do is really hard for me. I attended my first physiotherapy session last week and after the assessment I received more bad news; that full recovery in six months is unlikely,  I should plan for a year! A year ! Initially I did not know what to say, but now I just want to cry There have been many tears of frustration and I am sure there is going to be many more as the days go by.

My painkillers are not doing a very good job, or maybe I just don't react to them very well; however my meds have been increased yet again, and wow, this new strength really does affect me differently. It's hard for me to believe that someone could become addicted to strong painkillers such as Tramadol, as for me they are awful, they make me feel on edge, tired, dizzy and feel really sick; no why could I ever imagine being addicted to them, give me a bar of chocolate any day. They do however get rid of the pain, but the side effects are so great, I wish there was another answer. The Dr I saw last week recommend that I take my painkillers regularly instead of as and when; to be honest, I'm worried I'm going to rattle, she assures me it's normal to take all these various meds, as I've had quite a big op.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this blog post, I just needed to write to try and get my head around things. The prospect of a year of recovery scares me and even then the outcome of the operation might not have been successful. I am getting so incredibly frustrated at the things I can not do, so I wondered, do you have any advice as to how I can rest and any hobbies that I could take up to get me occupied?