I am sat here in tears... I normally brush off compliments and don't allow them to even reach my brain, I am not sure why but compliments don't really sink into my soul, and I have never been very good at accepting them. Today however is different. I don't really know why but someone who I have read about and admire so much told me that I have so much to offer and that I should certainly pursue my dream to become a midwife as I would be an asset.
Over the last few weeks I have been pondering and thinking a lot about university and applying to become a midwife, its something I have wanted to do for the last 4 years, however I felt it was never a good time. Well Ruby has now gone off to school leaving just Lottie at home, don't get me wrong I love the time I have with her, but I need something for me now, and with Ruby having only been a school girl for a couple of days, it has re-empathised my feelings that I can't just sit at home and be a stay at home mum; financially we are doing OK and getting by; we don't have luxuries and some months are a struggle, but we cope. Two days into Ruby being at school and I am bored, there is only so much day time TV I can watch; I need to be doing something much more productive and satisfying.
I needed to hear the words spoken to me today, that the experiences I have had, both good and bad ones, have made the person I am today, and that these experience would be of so much benefit and help to pregnant women and I would be an asset to have in any midwifery team. With this in my mind, I have decided that this was the confirmation I had needed, I am going to apply to study from September 2014.
My mother has very very kindly agreed to look after the girls, and she lives in the village that Ruby attends school. I know that the girls would be so looked after and spoilt that I would be mad to not take up this opportunity and go off in search of my dreams.
Well, I'd better stop writing this post and start putting pen to paper by making a start on my UCAS form so that I can start making the steps towards my dream. I can't tell you how excited I am at the prospect of achieving my dream and knowing that if I get into university, I will be helping so many women through my own experiences. I can't wait for the challenges and long shifts that midwifery brings.
I will of course try and keep you all updated. Wish me luck!