Milestones

Prior to having children, I had never really considered the meaning of the word 'milestones' before, but it now seems to be a word that keeps coming up time and time again; it is definitely a word that parents become very familiar with as their baby grows up.

Back when I was a first time mother to Ruby, I used to enjoy looking at the red book that the health visitor and midwives used to chart her weight and various other things including numerous childhood milestones.

Baby groups seem to be a place for competitive parenting, where parents talk about all the milestones that there child is hitting; maybe it was just me, but at the time I felt as if my baby and I were failing, as we were not reaching the milestones of a baby who was either the same age or younger. To this day I still do not like going to baby groups. We would not criticise an adult in this way, so why do we pressure a baby to achieve something by a certain age? Should we not treat them as an individual?

I enjoyed seeing Ruby reach her milestones, and was always pushing her to reach the next one as quickly as she possibly could. I could not wait for her to sit, walk, or even to talk; but then I was a first time mother! I think this is what the vast majority of first time mothers do.

Why is there no individualism nowadays? Why are we so wrapped up in red tape, and obsessed with milestones? Why can't a baby be allowed to be a baby and grow at their own pace, without pressure on them to do things before they are ready to?

For me, things completely changed when Lottie came along; I was still interested in her development and how she was progressing, but I was not in a rush for her to do anything, and I am not actively encouraging her to walk; she pulls herself up and walks holding on to things at present, but there is no push from me for her to walk. My attitude has completely changed as a second time mum, I have learnt a lot since having Ruby. I have come to the conclusion that babies grow up way too quickly, and before you know it, it is time for them to go to school.

Ruby has just started to school and on the first day she was handed some homework, as a parent I was shocked, she has only recently turned four, it seems so young to be giving out homework.  I attempted to help Ruby with her homework, but it didn't go as planned, and Ruby ended up in tears; I made the decision to put the homework to one side. I felt like such a bad parent explaining to her teacher that Ruby had not done the homework and that I was not prepared to push her any further; if I had done this, I fear that Ruby would have been put off going to school.

Milestones may have a place in certain areas, but I really wish people would open their eyes and look at the bigger and wider pictures.